Eye-openers

I have the feeling that I have grown up so much in the past year. I have become so much calmer and kinder to myself. And even though I should not tell him, I believe a lot of credit belongs to my amazing Vittorio.

I am reading a book now with the very nice title "the ideal woman is a bitch". It describes the difference between a (too) nice woman and how she is treated by men and a self-respecting woman (the so called bitch). The first one will do everything she can to please her crush/man causing him to lose all intrest pretty soon because there is no more hunt in it for him. The second category or the bitch doesn't wait around for a man. Her selfrespect is too big for this. She will not jump for him and this makes him want her even more.

I realised that I was always more of a type 1 woman. If I am in love and committed to someone, I tend to put that other person before me and my own happiness. It's not like I will do something entirely against my will, but I would be a bit of a push-over I think. 

The book also opened my eyes for how men treat women. Example:

The difference between the spontanious guy who uses you when he can't think of anything better (will refer to him as 1.) and the spontanious guy who is crazy about you (will refer to him as 2.)

1. His best mates always come in 1st place
2. His friends are complaining and teasing that they never see him again but he doesn't care.

1. He makes plans for trips with his friends but never invites you.
2. He keeps asking if you can get some time off so you can do stuff together

1. He calls to cancel plans for the same night. Later you call him back and you get his voicemail. The next day he calls you with a lame excuse.
2. If he has to cancel on you, he truly feels bad. He calls you as soon as he gets back from where he had to go because he has nothing to hide and wants you to know this.

1. He almost never takes you out and when he does it can surely not cost too much money. Maybe he will even ask you for a loan. Before you know it, you will be paying for his studies.
2. He will do everything to see you smile.

1. You let him know you have 1 free evening in the weekend. And even though he worked the entire week, he doesn't make himself available for you.
2. He almost always comes when you are available, unless he is away for his job or other important stuff.

Number 1 was Redlef in the end. Number 2 is Vittorio. 
A huge difference. But why did you put up with that, you might ask.

At that time I still was that too nice person. I have been through so much and I just wanted to be loved and taken care of. In the beginning, he did. But after 4 months it started changing.
Not with Vittorio. He is consisent in everything he does. Now that we live together, every morning he kisses me after he silenced his alarm clock. And when he leaves for work, he comes back for another kiss and to wish me a good day at work.

After more than a year of being together, he is still the same sweetheart and he keeps surprising me with how nice he treats me. Complimenting me every day, making me feel special. The relationship with Redlef was an eye-opener that I deserve so much better. And look... I immediately got the very best. 

xoxo