Major decision? Toss a coin

Recent research has shown that we value important life choices too much. We are too careful when it comes to changing our lives. Whether it's our relationship, our job or where we live: it doesn't happen that often that we give up our status quo for the unknown.

The research was done amongst 20.000 test persons who had to make a big decision in life. Instead of making a rational decision, they were asked to toss a coin and to have their decision based on heads or tails. 2 months later, they were asked what they had done and about 13% followed the result of the coin. These people were further questioned to determine what the 'random' effect of their choice was. For some of them, it involved a major decision related to their job, relationship or family. Other ones had to deal with minor choices like a new hair color or getting a tattoo.

After 6 months they were asked to evaluate their happiness. From the scores the contestants gave themselves, it turned out that especially the ones that made more dramatic life choices, were happier than before the experiment. They gave themselves on average 2 points more than before, on a scale of 1 to 10. Also their friends and family, who were involved in this test, confirmed this score. Especially the decision to end a relationship or to quit a job, turned out to have a lot of impact. Minor changes like a new hair color or a tattoo had a much smaller influence on the feelings of happiness of the test persons.

If you're torn apart between something new and the unknown: actually between doing something and doing nothing - then go for the adventure. The chances are pretty high it makes you happier.

It's in the little things

Today was such a beautiful day here in Belgium! After weeks of rain, we could use some sunbeams. I enjoyed it by taking a walk and reading a book on a bench in the park. As I felt the wind going through my hair and the sun warming my face, I felt so peaceful and happy. Everything about that moment was absolutely perfect. I felt grateful. Grateful for the nice and warm sun, for the nice book, for my health, for my wealth, for my great family and friends and for my amazing boyfriend. 

I believe we all should build in little moments to appreciate what we have. I think nowadays the focus is too much on what we don't have. It doesn't make people any happier. A couple of weeks ago I read an interview with a 80-year old woman who said that in her younger years, all people cared about was how to put food on the table every day. The poor families of now are still richer than the poor families of then. Nowadays, we have so much and yet we are not happy. We always want more and bigger. Life became a competition of having the biggest house, the biggest car on the driveway, the highest position in the company. But at what price? Burn-out rates have never been higher. Therapists have waiting lists. More than 60% of marriages turns out in divorce again. We are never happy with what we have.

It made me think. I had to admit that in the past I was more materialistic than I am now. It is something that also my boyfriend thaught me. He is not a man of expensive gifts or jewellery and he absolutely hates bouquets of flowers. He thinks they are useless. In the past, I liked to be pampered with gifts from my boyfriends. But now, I prefer to have experiences rather than gifts. For Christmas last year, the boyfriend and I went on a 2-day journey to the spa. Just relax and enjoy quality time together. It was perfect. I wouldn't have wished for anything else.

My ex used to buy me flowers a lot, and I can't say that I didn't like it. But afterwards, when I found out he cheated on me for the entire relationship, I hated the flowers. It felt like he was trying to buy my love or forgiveness. Don't give me presents. Give me loyalty, honesty, real love. Appreciate me for all that I am, with all my perfect imperfections. If the grass seems greener on the other side, you should worry about watering and fertilizing your own grass.

And remember: it is in the little things.