An angel with repaired wings

"I've been thinking about changes, and who I was this time last year.
I know I was a lot more afraid, and I know I am not the same person anymore.
This time last year I was waiting for a call that I knew was never going to come. And now, I am making the call. I don't know exactly when I changed, or how, but I know at some point, between cutting my strings, escaping my cage and building my wings, I set myself free."

A lot has changed since last year. I am writing this in English now (the reason why will be revealed later on). After the break-up with Redlef I needed a break. Desperately. I was an enormous mess. I felt like an idiot for letting him fool me like that. Here I was, blogging about my anxiety disorder and writing that it was probably all just me and the monsters in my head. No, turns out that he WAS cheating and he did lie to me all this time. After everything came out, he tried to fix things with both Christine and me. Called me almost everyday, texted me, showed up at my door with a 5-page letter about how sorry he was... And did about the same thing with her, so I heard. I had to clear my head. Figure things out again.

So I went on a little 5-day holiday to my aunt, who lived in Italy since about a year. And boy, did that little journey change my life...

It was summer, it was the middle of a heat wave and it was a burning 40°. Sweat was dripping down my spine, and I was just sitting in the garden doing absolutely nothing. I need a pool. Or a cold shower. Anything that cools me down. It was Sunday, and it was my 2nd day in Italy. We just returned from a late lunch at "Larry's" and it was around 4 in the afternoon. My aunt, uncle, myself and a colleague of my uncle's decided to play some Kubb. A game like bowling, where you have to try to hit over blocks by throwing sticks at them. If was fun, we laughed a lot and Joao and I won the first game! We sat down for a little pause and a glass of beer/wine when my uncle got a call from another colleague of him to go and have a beer in town. My uncle declined and said that we were playing Kubb in the garden, but that the colleague was always welcome to join us. So after about 10 min, the other colleague came cycling up the driveway. In a yellow swimming short and a black t-shirt. Not bad, I thought. He got off his bike and approached us. He seemed about my age. He took off his sunglasses. Blue eyes. Little gasp for breath here. He smiled and introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Vittorio, nice to meet you". 

I think I was pretty much sold after that moment. Even though I was a 25 year-old woman at the time, I felt like a 14-year old teenager again with the hormones racing down my body. I tried to keep my cool and act normal, so no-one would notice I liked him. And have to say: he was acting a bit weird too. We played another game of Kubb and he joined my aunt and uncle's team. During the game, he did not say 1 word directly to me. Avoided eye-contact. I was beginning to think he liked me too.
My aunt (Ina) invited both colleagues to stay for dinner. Joao couldn't, but Vittorio said he was happy to stay. My heart made a little jump in my chest. 

Whilst preparing dinner, I told my aunt that I thought he was cute. She agreed, and said she would try to get as much information out of him as she could! Strange but true: I was too shy to do it myself. Stupid 14-year old teenager. So during dinner, my aunt started questioning him. Where he is from (Italy), where he lived now (Amsterdam), if he had a girlfriend (no). My heart jumped in my chest again.

The evening continued, my aunt managed to get some information out of him and I just got more and more interested in getting to know him. But I was only here for 3 full more days and the 4th I would leave. How would I do this... After he went home my aunt suggested to my uncle that he should invite Vittorio to the pool party on Tuesday night. And so he did.

Fast forward to Tuesday night, I am wearing a pretty dress and am tagging along to the pool party. I am so very nervous to see Vittorio again. Will we get to talk? Will it be fun? What should we talk about? We are at a table with another colleague and his family, waiting for Vittorio to show. We order drinks, we talk and laugh. We order a second round of drinks. Still no Vittorio. A 3rd, a 4th. Looks like he isn't going to show... And when the night came to an end, he didn't. I was so very disapointed. But ok, at least now I knew he was not interested in me.

The day after I found out that there had been a misunderstanding between my uncle and Vittorio. My uncle invited him to the pool party, but Vittorio was busy doing something else and did not fully understand that he just got invited to a party. Aaah! Ok, no problem. Tonight we would organise a 'goodbye' drink for me in the local pub and he was invited once again.

This time, he did show and boy did he look amazing... A nice red shirt, his hair nicely done with some gel. At first I didn't even recognize him when we bumped into him on the streets. He sat next to me at the table afterwards. It was an amazing evening. We were 7 people, and later that night even 8 when Marco joined. The day after, everyone except for Ina, Petra and me had to work, so around 1 am people started leaving. Ina and Gerben also got up to go home and Ina said to me: I'll leave the backdoor opened, but it's also ok if you decide not to come home *wink*. Errrr yeah, that was not the intention. So at this point it was just me, Vittorio and Marco. We ordered 1 more round. I had about 4 prosecco's by now and felt pretty tipsy. After the last one, it was already past 2 in the morning and the guys had to go home. I asked Vittorio if he could walk me home because I didn't know the way. 'Oh no problem, Marco said, I will drive you home". Oh no, I will be fine, I replied. But he insisted. Vittorio said he would join us to show the way. So they drove me home. Once arrived, Vittorio got out with me and walked me to the gate. I waited for something to happen, but it didn't. Because of the one too many drinks, I blurted out: how come you didn't make a move? Vittorio stood there and stammered: I'm sorry, I did not know what to do... We exchanged details, and I went to bed with a big smile... The morning after I saw that I had a message from him, apologizing for his 'social awareness of a rock' and if maybe we could start from where we left off once he was back in Amsterdam. 

To be continued...  ;-)